Here is a short step by step guide on how to change your oil on a Mitsubishi 380.

Step 1:
You will need 1 x Mitsubishi 380 with no warrantee left and a pure resentment for paying 130 dollars for something which takes 20 minutes of your pitiful existence.


Step 2:
Either take a floor jack and jack up the front end of the car via the rear cross member, or employ a small person and / or Hobbit to crawl underneath and inspect. In utter surprisement, you will find the oil filter dangling right there in front of your filthy face, as opposed to crammed underneath an intake manifold which you could never possibly reach without taking off said manifold.


Step 3:
Marvel at your shear brilliance at saving 70 dollars by reaching for an oil catch pan and placing it underneath the inevitable torrent of carcinogenic fluid which is about to spew forth from the bowels of your mediocre transportation.


Step 4:
Reach up and grab hold of the oil filter with your hairy mitts, and turn anticlockwise. Now, if you're a girly girl, then best go back inside and go cry in the corner. If you're man enough, then use all your might and undo it. Easy right?


Step 5:
Carcinogenic fluid will spew forth from the aforementioned filter. You will get some oil on your hands which is inevitable, so if you don't like this, (and you are a little bitch) then put some rubber gloves on before hand. If you are a man, lick the oil off your hands.


Step 6:
Once all oil has drained from the oil filter, unscrew it fully so that it comes off. Then proceed to throw the used filter at the dog next door which, by now, is barking uncontrollably for no reason at all.
(I don't have a photo of this)

Step 7:
Move the drip tray underneath the oil sump plug, which you are about to unscrew to let out the pure concentrated evil juice.


Step 8:
Once all the oil has stopped dripping out of the sump, fish out the oil sump plug which you clumsily dropped into the oil catch pan. Screw this back on and tighten. (Not too tight you idiot! just enough so it doesn't fall off. Idiot.)

Step 9:
Replace the oil filter with a new one. You bought one right?

Step 10:
Get your Kmart brand / hi performance budget $9.99 oil and proceed to unscrew the oil cap from the top of the engine. Pour oil in the hole. Proceed to make a mess and drop new oil all over the exhaust manifold and other hot engine parts. Swear, then clean up your mess with a rag. Put oil cap back on.

Step 11:
Check oil dipstick and ensure that the oil level is within the two dots. Now go and start the car, and wait until the engine heats up to operating temperature. Check oil again. You will notice it has gone down! Why you ask? Because the oil has now been circulated throughout the engine. Top up the oil again and recheck.

Step 12:
Bask in your shear utter heroic manliness. You have just saved yourself 70 dollars so that your wife can go buy more shoes. Well Done!